Clyde McBride Presents: The Santiago Forest
by Exotos135
Summary: Sequel to The Loud Zoo. Clyde McBride ventures forth into "The Santiago Forest" to discover more about it's specimens.


Outside of the Santiago household, Clyde adjusted his hat and glasses before narrating to the camera, "Greetings, everyone, I'm Clyde McBride and I'm next to the entrance to the infamous Santiago Forest!" then he grabbed the doorknob. "Let's go inside and see what we can find, alright?"

Clyde opened the door and walked inside, with the camera following him.

"Now, while the Loud Zoo had a large variety of specimens, the Santiago Forest has only around three noteworthy creatures for us to see," Clyde looked strictly as the camera as he continued. "These specimens' names will be revealed as we head along, but right now, we're about to see the first of these specimens."

Suddenly-but not unexpectedly-Clyde crashed against a wall and had to adjust his glasses to see Bobby arrive, wearing a masculine version of Lori's waitress outfit. "And here we have our first specimen, the Daili Jobworkerus!"

"Guess who got a job at Gus' Games and Grub!" Bobby remarked as he lifted his arms, followed by some canned excitement and applause, which he didn't seem to notice. "Just a volunteer position for a day, though, I need to see if I'll be able to keep this job for longer than a week."

"Daili Jobworkerus is one of those rare cases of evolution playing a cruel joke on the affected creature," Clyde narrated as he walked to Bobby, who immediately noticed him. "A joke so cruel and of bad taste, even Comedi Amateurus, on an April Fools Day, would be disgusted."

"Oh hi, Clyde, what are you doing here?" the teen guy greeted, catching the dark-skinned geek's attention.

"I'm making a documentary based around your family in a forest-like setting," Clyde nonchalantly answered. "It's a very well known fact that Daily Jobworkerus, no matter how hard he tries, can't keep up a job for more than a week-"

"Yeah, tell me about it, I'm pretty sure I've tried nearly every job in Royal Woods at this point: Mailman, pizza delivery boy, mechanic-you know? I should probably take out the list," Bobby reached for his back and took out a list, which soon unwrapped itself until it hit Clyde's feet. "Athlete, chef, businessman, racer-"

"The reason for this large list of jobs? As said before, evolution is at fault here," Clyde narrated while Bobby continued to count jobs nearby. "In Exchange for evolving into someone who could date the Lorelei Pleaseditchbobbyandmarrymeinsteadocus without inquiring her wrath, or even for multiple months, his intelligence and capacity to hold a job suffered to the point he's not only considered a dunce, but, as said before, he can't keep a job for more than one week."

Bobby, however, wasn't even listening: Instead, he continued to list job after job. "News anchorman, singer, backup dancer, musician, guitarist-"

It wasn't long before Clyde grew annoyed. "He's gonna be at that for a while, so let's move on."

Clyde left Bobby to say his list just as Ronnie arrived.

"Anyway, moving on, we'll look at the mother of the most important pair of specimens in the Santiago forest," Clyde walked to Mrs. Santiago, who was getting ready to go to work. "This is Mariarus Nursi, basically the matriarch of the Santiago Forest. However, for most of the time, she's basically stuck working a nine to five job in order to try and reach a quota to feed her two kids.

"Hi Clyde, I didn't see you come in," Mrs. Santiago nonchalantly answered. "Listen, I have to go in a moment, so could you please do your documentary thing some other time? I really, honestly don't have the time to play along right now.

Mrs. Santiago left the room, walked downstairs, then audibly left the house as Clyde turned to the camera and said, "And so, my point is further confirmed. Now we just need to find-"

Suddenly, Ronnie Anne went inside. "Clyde, what are you doing in my house?" she inquired, placing her hands on her hips. "Bobby did tell me you were here."

Far off in the distance, the duo could hear Bobby continue to list off his other previous jobs, like "baker, DJ, circus clown," and so on. "But I thought it was because you thought Lori was here, or something," Ronnie finished, staring firmly at Clyde.

"Oh no, I have more important things to do right now, and besides, I can always look for her later!" Clyde answered. "Right now, I'm telling my viewers right over here what I can find about the inhabitants of the Santiago Forest!"

"The Santiago what-now?" Ronnie repeated, looking to her left and right.

"It's a documentary about your family!" Clyde clarified.

"Just me, my mom, and Bobby, or are my cousins included?" Ronnie asked, raising an eyebrow.

After being some seconds in silence, Clyde asked, "You have cousins?"

 _One camera cut later..._

"Well, it looks like we're having a little change of plans, everybody," Clyde told the camera once it stopped showing static. "As was revealed not too long ago, the Santiago Forest's specimens have cousins! And due to a lack of time to do proper research on them, I got a special little helper with me today."

Ronnie Anne suddenly popped up, wearing a fedora hat and a trench coat. "Hello everybody! Ronnie Anne here, bringing you information regarding the Massivelus Residentus parent species to the us Santiago Forest's inhabitants!"

"Specimens," Clyde strictly clarified.

"Screw you, I'll call ourselves whatever we want," Ronnie stated before revealing the "Casagrande" family tree behind her. "And we'll begin with the least interesting specimens, Grampus and Grammus Carlousel, the parents of Crankapus Carlousel. Good cooks, good parents, very mysterious."

Then she went to the trio of her mother, her brother, and his wife. "This is my mom, insert scientific nonsense here, and her brother, Crankapus Carlousel, one of the most easily cranked people in the whole universe! Which is believed to have been absorbed from the Louds' during the one time he went on a date with their future mother!"

"Whoa, that actually happened?!" Clyde exclaimed.

"I don't know, I was just told about that by mom," Ronnie slid to Crankapus's wife, "This is Motheri Plumpchin, whose most distinct feature-besides the ability to birth multiple children without getting massive hips, is her plump chin, which conflicts with her slim figure."

Clyde turned to the camera and shrugged. "I'll take her word for it."

"Moving on, here we have Thickus Maximus," Ronnie dramatically narrated while presenting the picture of the mentioned girl. "The oldest child of Crankapus Carlousel and Motheri Plumpchin, and their only daughter in a batch of five."

Ronnie wriggled her eyebrows at the camera in a suggestive manner, which immediately caught Clyde's attention. "Why are you doing that with your eyebrows?"

"No reason," Ronnie wriggled her eyebrows again. "No reason at all."

Then she threw a wink, and decided to continue. "And these four here are her brothers, Alpha, Omega, Beta, and Delta Maximus. We have no information about them."

"Ronnie, I get the feeling you barely even tried with the information about these specimens," Clyde growled, folding his arms.

"Of course I'm barely trying, Clyde!" Ronnie threw her arms up in the air. "Because one, I won't be able to get more information about them until next week, and two, you still have to showcase one more specimen."

When the boy simply raised an eyebrow, Ronnie grabbed his shoulders and stated, "Me! You still have to tell people about me!"

"Oh, right!" Clyde dusted himself and took a deep breath. "This is Bullies Lovely, a former bully who used to bully Bluerange Genericus, but has grown feelings from him. However, in doing so, she also lost much of her original personality, and most of it now revolves around Bluerange Genericus nowadays."

Just as Ronnie was about to snap, she thought about it and said, "Yeah, I need to fix that somehow."

"And that was the Santiago Forest, everyone!" Clyde told the camera as he walked to the exit. "What will come next week? I have no idea, but one thing is certain, Royal Woods is filled with lots of unique species of specimens, so I'll be able to find something just as interesting as these last two locations I've shown you-"

"Actually, Clyde, I have an idea!" Ronnie exclaimed as she ran to Clyde's side. "Listen, I might know who you can make video about next!"

Then she turned to the camera and frowned.

"And we need to discuss it in private."

So Ronnie turned off the camera.


End file.
